Feeding Frenzy Foiled.....For Now

January deluge. Rain pouring, day after day, from slate gray skies whose edges run to the horizon. Those blistering days of last summer’s 100+ degrees are long forgotten now. The back yard is a swamp, the plants are all slimy after the freeze of December caught up with the delayed yard work and I’m under siege by the local raccoon family, as if the squirrels were not enough trouble.

rooftop raccoon

Over the years raccoons have followed a trail through the neighborhood, along fences, across the street, lumbering behind the arborvitae with their cubs playfully in tow.  Their midnight capers of scampering and exploring can be amusing, especially when a flashlight from the upstairs window catches their reflective eyes in the dark. First one huge set of unblinking eyes appear, then a smaller set on the left followed rapidly by a tiny set to the right and finally a pair of shiny circles on top of the huge ones. A family outing! One year they took up residence under my deck, scheduling playtime to coincide with my attempted sleep time. Their late night antics included toppling newly planted patio pots and dragging their contents around the yard. What fun. When the grapes begin to ripen, they add a loop to their route to include an excursion through my tiny vineyard, cooing and chirping to one another when they precede me to some ripe fruit. In the ultimate nocturnal foray, they scale the arbor to mount the second story roof and peer into my bedroom window as if to measure the risk of their intended escapades against my midnight watchfulness.

They’ve taken a recent liking to my birdseed, perhaps in a stomach-growling search for winter sustenance, and go to great lengths to acquire their midnight snacks. As I raised my kitchen blinds one dreary morning, anticipating a happy view of birds flocking about the feeders I was astonished by what I saw. The scene of theft and destruction could not have been accomplished by the lightweight Mr. Nutkins. Broken lilac branches trailing downward in unnatural bends and vanished feeders were my first shock. The bulky raccoons had clutched at the remaining bare yet bending branches and swatted the feeders until they fell to the ground from their “s” hooks and then somehow figured out how to get the tops UNSCREWED! They dragged the feeders along the ground, leaving the two lids buried in a pile of leaves and a faint trail of birdseed for the little finches and juncos to scrounge through. That was some feast: two pounds of black oil sunflower seed gone in a night. This surpassed even the greedy squirrels that at least leave half a feeder of seeds hanging for a second round the next day.

Spotting a refill the following night the raccoons once again climbed through my lilacs, continuing to break 1” diameter branches off with their weight and again downed the feeders. I keep filling the feeders even though earlier this winter I conceded the battle, more or less, to the squirrels who poke their little rodent noses through the screen around the feeders to extend their sticky tongues just far enough in to capture seeds. Bingo! Half or totally empty feeders in the morning. At least the birds get some of the scraps. Now the raccoons were upping the ante! I had to find a new and better strategy against these pesky creatures.

Strolling through the local Fred Meyer store I noted a 40% off bird feeders sale and saw the biggest mother of ‘em all: a bright red-lidded container holding about five pounds of seed in a maximum security prison-fenced gravity feeder tube with interior feeding stations. The tag said it was squirrel-resistant and I wanted to believe it would work for raccoons as well. I then purchased some carabiners at the hardware store - honkin’ big and sturdy. They secured and locked the feeder high above the ground on to a slippery metal shepherd’s crook planter pole. This ought to be challenging for the night marauders and I viewed it as my Last Stand!

Watching from the kitchen window the next morning, I observed the squirrels scoping out the new feeder. They reconnoitered around it in their usual tail-twitching manner, mentally calculated the distance to the prize, and finally leapt with military precision from the fence top to the feeder, hanging on upside down by their little toenails. Aha! The feeder fencing was further away from the seed tube than usual and their snarky little tongues couldn’t reach it! They viciously chewed and clawed at the fencing in an attempt to break it but it was, as I said, maximum security prison fencing and impenetrable. Sweet victory!!!  The little birds tipped their wings to me in gratitude and smugly chirped at the vexatious rodents nearby. 

Apparently the carabiners discouraged the raccoons too as they haven’t made a grab for the feeder yet although it was twisting suspiciously in the wind this morning, so they may have tried under cover of darkness last night. Only time will tell. If I hear the rumble of a cherry picker moving through the garden at midnight I’ll know I’m doomed and will return the feeder for a full refund. I kept the receipt.